Day 18: Forgive Them
Today we continue our focus to this part of the Lord’s prayer:
“forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
If we want to be forgiven by God, we must forgive those who sin against us.
“He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself; for every man has need to be forgiven.”
—Thomas Fuller
Warm Up:
Set a timer for 1 minute and clear your mind.
Round 1:
Pray Ephesians 4:31-32—Lord, empower me to get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Cause me to walk in kindness and compassion for others, forgiving others, just as in Christ God forgave me.
Round 2:
review round 2 from yesterday’s soul workout. write down the names of those you need to forgive.
Round 3:
consider this pattern of forgiveness. Write the bold statements below in your journal.
Step 1—Admit that something happened. To begin healing, you have to recognize that someone has sinned against you. Don’t let fear or denial fool you into skipping this step.
Step 2—Connect with the consequences of the act done against you. The consequences of sin are often worse than the sin itself. How is it impacting your daily life?
Step 3—Tell God what happened to you. Pour out your heart to God and tell Him, as best as you can, what happened to you. Unpack, vent, cry, scream—do whatever it takes to unbury the sin against you.
Step 4—Forgive your offender, for your benefit. Many times, this is the missing piece in why forgiveness falls short. This is a vertical conversation where, before God, you forgive your offender for what they have done and the consequences they’ve caused in your life. Trust God’s character in this step. Return to the names of God in Days 3-7 if you need to.
Step 5—Tell the offender you have forgiven them when they repent, for their sake. Declaring someone forgiven before they repent robs them of the freedom that comes to them through repentance. Their repentance won’t heal you, it will heal them. Your healing began when you forgave them before God in Step 4.
Step 6—Know the difference between forgiveness and trust. Forgiveness and trust are separate issues. Forgiveness carries the hope of reconciliation and renewed trust, but it doesn’t mandate or guarantee it. Ask God for wisdom here.
Step 7—Seek reconciliation, not just conflict resolution. The goal of this process is not to get past the issue and let the relationship die. Repentance and forgiveness don’t fix behavior. They are gifts of grace to heal our relationships.
—Adapted from The Cure
by John Lynch, Bruce McNicol, Bill Thrall
Burn Out:
level up through forgiveness:
Work through the above process of forgiveness for each person you wrote down in Round 2. You may only be able to get through Step 3 for each but that’s okay. Look for signs of Step 4 and beyond in the days to come. Maybe you need to forgive yourself. 🤷🏼♂️ Remember, forgiveness is for your benefit. At the other end are light and freedom and healing and beauty and safety and donuts.*